


My Body is a Cage (Maven’s Birthday Fic)

by Emo_MabelPines



Category: Red Queen Series - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: M/M, Maven’s bday gift!!, Peter Gabriel’s “My Body is a Cage”, angsty and fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28042710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emo_MabelPines/pseuds/Emo_MabelPines
Summary: It’s Maven’s birthday!! Happy birthday to my boy!!Basically pouring my feelings out into a single fic for him. Angst that turns into fluff. I promise it ends happily.
Relationships: Maven Calore/Thomas
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	My Body is a Cage (Maven’s Birthday Fic)

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve decided to write and post a fic for Maven’s birthday :)
> 
> It is angsty, I know, I hated to write him into something sad on his special day but I promise you it’s happy and fluffy at the end. I’ve been having a lot of pent up emotions about his life and wanted (needed) to get them out.
> 
> Also, the bolded sentences are the lyrics of “My Body is a Cage” by Peter Gabriel. It’s Maven’s favorite song and I figured I would incorporate it into here. (If you haven’t listened to it, I suggest you do, it’s a sad but good song)
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is Peter Gabriel’s and the characters and quotes are from Victoria Aveyard.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!!

“This won’t hurt.”

A lie.

“Hold still.”

_ I don’t want to. _

“You will obey.”

**My body is a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love, my mind holds the key**

Every night, those words repeated. 

“Stop.”

“Hold still.”

**My body is a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love, but my mind holds the key**

He was a prisoner of his own head, trapping his own soul in a pit of despair. Despite being born into royalty, receiving anything and everything he wanted, the prince was robbed of the one thing that he truly needed. 

Himself.

**I’m standing on a stage of fear and self doubt**

Childhood became desolate. Growing up was on the schedule and he could not disappoint. Life was a game, you see, and he had to play it well or he was punished. 

Fear was intolerable as were tears of any kind.  _ Strength and power. _ The nobles would cheer relentlessly.  _ Strength and power. _ No other trait was encouraged of a Silver, much less a prince.

Living up to the expectations his mother required was harder than one thought, leaving him desperate to prove his worth. Fighting for any affection at all to keep him out of the darkness that seemed to crave him.

**It’s a hollow play but they’ll clap anyways**

The few years before adolescence were tolerable. He learned to accept his fate, the mental abuse he received nightly. He had achieved the task of growing up, or so he thought. 

Nothing mattered more to him than the rare words of praise from his mother and the caring moments his brother showed him in his darkest times. Those were the memories he vowed to save throughout his lifetime; the ones that truly meant something.

**My body is a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love, my mind holds the key**

Acceptance was key for everything, he was taught. It avoids trouble and keeps you in line. So when the subject of the front was spoken of, the prince kept his mouth shut and a mask plastered firmly on his face.

“War is hell. Bloodshed, losses, and nightmares. Don’t ever lose sight of who you are. Don’t lose yourself in the useless murder.” He was once told. He cannot remember who gave him that advice, nor who consoled him when he broke down before leaving. Was it the same person? Just as everything else was, the memory was swiped.

**You’re standing next to me**

Friends. He had friends at the front. 

A bigger girl, blonde, a smile that could stretch across the world and bring joy to everyone who saw it. Her name was Gretchen. Or maybe Greta. He wasn’t sure.

Twins, identical, one mind. How he wished he had someone who understood him as the brothers did each other. Their misery and heartbreak was shared as well as their happiness and love. Were they Cade and Wade? Possibly.

Then there was Thomas. A vivid picture is all he remembers; the Red medic laying next to him on a grassy field, gazing up at the brilliant stars in the night sky. Thomas is pointing to a particularly bright one and ganders excitedly at him, green eyes sparkling and hair rustling in the breeze. The moonlight causes his dark skin to shine radiantly. Thomas is beautiful. Thomas is perfect. He thought he loved Thomas. Or was that his imagination? His craving for a feeling other than sorrow misleading him into believing Thomas was something more?

**My mind holds the key**

Gretchen, or Greta, he wasn’t sure, died shortly after he met her. Her body was found in the trenches five days after she breathed her last. He didn’t know how to comprehend the feelings he was enduring.

Cade and Wade were separated during a mission. Cade passed. Wade followed from heartbreak.

**I’m living in an age that calls darkness light**

He burned Thomas. Charred his flesh into black scraps of meat for stray dogs to find a meal in afterwards. 

It wasn’t his fault.

He didn’t mean to.

It was an accident.

**Though my language is dead**

Nightmares plagued his mind when he returned home. No one cared. No one listened. Slowly and painfully, he descended into the shadows, creating a sinister part of his own soul. 

He lost himself.  _ I’m sorry I didn’t listen. _

Light was no longer an option. It didn’t matter how hard he fought to stay, he was kicked out, thrown away like an old newspaper. Nothing but a waste of air.

**Still the shapes fill my head**

The only thing his mother ever did for him when he asked was take his dreams from him. Take the horrid screams from his skull and place them where he’ll never find them.

_ Take away this nightmare. _

__ He could’ve sworn there were memories he meant to keep. Vowed even. It’s a passing thought and soon disappears. 

**I’m living in an age whose name I don’t know**

Mare Barrow. A simple girl from a simple town.

He loved her. He thought he did. That was enough for him.

**Though the fear keeps me moving**

She hated him. The little lightning girl spit in his eye, calling him a monster. Perhaps he was. For some reason, he reveled in it. 

Monster.

How fitting for a murderer.

**Still my heart beats so slow**

His brother and Mare ran from him. They take the Scarlet Guard with them, leaving him with few options. Stressing, he closed off the parts of him still echoing throughout his head, silencing his own voice.

**My body is a…**

His mother died. 

He was not sure how he felt. 

**Is a….**

Ripped apart by lightning. Just as his mother was. That’s how he decided he wanted to go. Suddenly, in his workspace, he knew this. If he were to choose any way to die, it would be Mare’s lightning. 

Torn by purple threads of electricity, finally given the punishment he wants to give himself. To give the monster inside of him.

**My body is a cage**

_ What parts are truly my own? _

He did not know the answer to this, nor did he want to discover it. His mother left him with bits and pieces, like a puzzle waiting to be put back together. A broken puzzle with pieces that don’t quite fit together like they used to. 

Mare waited for an explanation. He refused to give her one. The thought itself was frightening enough and he did not wish to delve further into the mess he was left with.

**My mind holds the key**

Love was no longer an emotion he had. Iris Cygnet did not pull at his heart strings. Neither did Evangeline Samos. Mare was the only one to keep that spark of hope alive in him. He couldn’t possibly have lost the ability to love. Though his passion for Mare started to fade, to turn into a hunger for any feeling at all instead of just affection from her.

**My body is a cage**

_ Would Thomas have been enough? _

With the war raging around him and his entire being spiraling out of control, he isn’t sure. The answer was a definite yes for years. Now, he doesn’t know. Would Thomas have been enough to cease his internal torture?

**We take what we are given**

He was captured, taken as a rightful prisoner of the Scarlet Guard. He can’t help but feel proud.

Unfortunately, he was left with his thoughts in a damp cell with no window.  _ Tomorrow I will die. _ He told himself often. Part of him knew it was a lie; his brother would never let that happen.

_ Tomorrow I will die. _

**Just because you’ve forgotten don’t mean you’re forgiven**

The older Calore brother attempted to talk with him. Make things right. Catch a glimpse of who he once was, the scared child inside of him. 

There was a moment when he could give in. The entire nightmare of his life could be over if he showed a sign he was there, struggling to be released. But he didn’t. He could not hurt anyone any longer, no matter if the possibility could’ve saved his life for a mere few weeks longer.

_ Weak. _

**I’m living in an age that screams my name at night**

_ Death awaits me.  _

**But when I get to the doorway, there’s no one in sight**

There was a time of freedom.

And a time of battle.

**I’m living in an age that laughs when I’m dancing with the one I love, but my mind holds the key**

“We can still run.”  _ Mare, be my Red Queen. _

**You’re standing next to me, my mind holds the key**

“The last person who cares for you isn’t in here, he’s out there, and you burned that bridge a long time ago.” 

She was right. 

_ You have no idea how much that hurts.  _ Maybe she did. Maybe that’s why she twisted the knife.

**Set my spirit free**

His own weapon was the cause of his death. Although he can’t say he isn’t grateful for it; his pain and suffering ended along with his life.

**Set my spirit free**

Whispers that used to roam his mind, telling him what to do and scolding him as his mother would, disappeared.

**Set my body free**

_ Mother? _

Nothing.

**Set my body free**

Silence is like a realm of darkness. They swallow you up and leave you with a suffocating pressure. 

However, this silence is relieving.

**Set my spirit free**

_ The good won. _

Without meaning to, he smiles. 

Whether the afterlife comes with the promise of heaven or hell, he doesn’t care. His suffering is over. The good can prevail. 

_ Mother, I succeeded. I gave myself everything I’ve ever wanted. _

**Set my body free**

With one final breath, Maven Calore walks into a bright light, holding the hand of his younger self, the boy he was meant to be, who stares up at him with a giddy smile and bright, curious eyes. The look of innocence, of happiness.

* * *

  
  


Maven wakes in an instant, nearly falling off the mattress. “What the-“

Thomas had catapulted himself across the room onto their shared bed, awakening the blue-eyed boy from his slumber. Instead of becoming furious with him, which he’s never allowed himself to be, Maven sighs, blinking sleep from his eyes. 

“Tommy..?”

“Happy birthday, Mave! You’re finally twenty-one! We can get totally shit-faced tonight!” Thomas’s smile brightens the room. He wiggles his eyebrows, indicating what he truly means.

“Birthday..?” Maven mumbles, sitting up on his elbows and squinting at his boyfriend. “Is it really?” He isn’t awake enough to remind Thomas he hates alcohol.

Looking astounded, Thomas gasps. “You forgot? How could you forget?” 

Maven responds with a simple shrug. His dream still stuck with him, the song crammed into his head on repeat. As well as the image of walking into a growing light holding the hand of himself as a child. How could his brain even begin to comprehend that? It was the constant blast of Peter Gabriel’s “My Body is a Cage” the morning prior when Maven hadn’t had his daily cup of caffeine. He tended to be over dramatic until he had his coffee.

“So, I know we have school today, but I still want to take you out tonight. Is six okay? You’re done with your studies for the day by then, right?” Thomas’s green eyes are filled with hope.

_ School? _ That’s right. Maven and Thomas attend Corvium college, a school known for it’s academically inclined students and diverse culture. The only reason Maven, the son of a wealthy family and Thomas, a poor kid who grew up on the streets are able to study at the same college is due to the school’s ability to overlook status and dive into GPA and ACT scores instead.

He’s no prince. His dream was most definitely unreal. Perhaps in another dimension. He does not envy that version of himself. Especially after the image of Thomas burning. He shuts the thought out instantly. 

“I believe I’ll have time.” Maven muses. “If I finish my project. And get ahead in Calculus.”

Thomas pouts. “You can be such a workaholic at times.”

“Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m joking. Of course you can take me out tonight. Whether it be with a shotgun or on a date, surprise me.”

His boyfriend laughs and tackles him in a hug which makes them topple onto the bed again. “Mave! You know it’s going to be a date.” Maven smiles as Thomas captures his lips with his own. He lets the fears of his nightmare drain from him, washing away as he envelops himself in Thomas’s arms.

As his day continues, he finds himself going to class, buying coffee to keep him awake, and snuggling with Thomas after their date at a fancy restaurant Thomas insists he pays for.

Maven forgets about his dream in passing, only remembering it when he’s at his worst. Though even then, he knows he is free. He is not obsessed with Mare, although he did have a crush on her at one point. Thomas is not dead. His mother isn’t dead but didn’t raise him horribly. Cal loves him as a brother should and he returns the feeling. His dream was a figment of his imagination, nothing more.

_ My body is  _ **_not_ ** _ a cage. _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Criticism welcomed and encouraged. Don’t forget to give love to Maven today and if you don’t stan him, then you don’t have to. 
> 
> Hope him and Thomas are having a good day :’)


End file.
